Learning from the Vets- Not!

Before I get to breaking down Tim Marchman’s column from yesterday, the King of the Jews would like to tell you a secret: over the past year or so, I have been lucky enough to talk to some long-time baseball people, many of whom are also members of old and crusty big media. Of course, many of you will tell me that I am lucky to have not been irreversibly brainwashed by these people, but that is not necessarily true. My latest biff is this: When it comes to talking about firing Willie Randolph- or any other manager for that matter- it is probably among the most annoying and vexing baseball conversation I have ever had.

i hate to sound so polarizing, and I really cannot provide much of a reason as to why this is so. Marchman’s piece yesterday ignited a widespread discussion across the blogsphere and forums, and, needless to say, I noticed this disturbing trend last seen right after the collapse.

So, let me start of by saying this; a lot of these guys are really down-to-earth people with a deep, intelligent, passion for the game. Others are condescending jerks with mammoth sized egos. Some even choose to alternate between the two, depending on the conversation you are having with them. To better illustrate my case, here is my version of the prototypical response from these people, after I have pointed out reason #967 as to why the Mets should fire Willie Randolph:

 “You know, (takes a puff from his cigar and wipes the ashes off his 1975 Baseball Encyclopedia) I’m not of those teenage bloggers out there picking his nose and out there looking for his favorite player’s girlfriends that he know he can’t get with anyways. I’ve been in this business a long time, and I’m not about to go about insulting a manger like fans do when they start talking about all this corrupt and money-related stuff.

The way I see it I don’t need to go about looking to see if Willie’s gotten the most out of his player’s or if he’s a good ‘tactical’ manager or some other complicated shit like that. All I can do is look at the end result and wow- somehow this time with the third highest payroll is in third place!

Look, I know he ain’t perfect, but I’ve been around-the-block a long time now (shows off his Quasi-War badge) and I can tell ya’ nothings’ perfect. All you can do at the end of the day is pick up the Daily News, read a little about Jamie Lynn Spears, and check out the standings.

I’m an old-school guy, and I think this team just needs a nice little reliever and an extra guy off the bench to make that final push… (10 minutes of flawed reasoning later) and I’ll tell ya’ its not time to start talking about firing Willie.”

There you go: I important, and highly controversial matters like these, are the old baseball folks and the crustiest of big media sweeping through as the purveyors of reason. Their ability to simplify the situation, acquire by their journalism degree after sleeping with three female professors, their infatuation with objectiveness and their lifetime of experience is unmatched b all others.

I say fuck em’ all.